Am I Good Enough Now?©

I would sit by the mailbox
Just waiting for that letter.
Telling me I got in.
Telling me I was good enough.
The doubtful feeling grew worse
The letter never came.

What if I don't want to be you?
I want to be me.
Failiure, fears and screw ups.

Am I good enough now?
Can I be in your life?
I just want to know what it feels like.
To be loved,
To be cared for.
So, Am I good enough now?

I waited for you today.
Once again you didn't show.
I don't know why I want it so much.
You care has taught me never to trust anyone.
To rely only on you.
What if there is someone out there?
Someone who knows me.
Someone who is always proud of me,
No matter what I do.

Am I good enough now?
Can I be in your life?
I just want to know what it feels like.
To be loved,
To be cared for.
So, Am I good enough now?

Could you make this any harder?
Where will I go if I don't make the cut?
You planned my life with out my consent.
My life is no longer yours.
I withdraw.

Am I good enough now?
Can I be in your life?
I just want to know what it feels like.
To be loved,
To be cared for.
So, Am I good enough now?

~End~

I wrote this one during a maths test. I wrote it because currently I'm going through the hell of picking subjects for my final years of school. I currently have 13 units, but I'm dropping to 10 or 12 units in year 12. But I wrote it because my mother had started to plan my subjects without asking me, and I'm very protective of my subjects because my school world and my home world are two completely places, and I would like to keep it that way for as long as I can because if they were to collide then that would be a major catastrophe resulting in the eventual kicking out of home. But I was just angry and I thought this was a healthy way to do it by using the wonderful talents that God has given me.

Peace & Love
xx Lu